Overheard in Indore

Guy #1: I think I'm becoming too romantic these days.
Guy #2: Really?
Guy #1: Yeah... I think I will see 1-2 psycho movies now.

Overheard in Bangalore - II

Namkeen-seller on Sampark Kranti Express:

Namkeen wala idhar hai,
aapka dhyaan kidhar hai?

Overheard in Bangalore

Bereft of ideas, I have been 'inspired' by Overheard in New York.

Overheard in Bangalore [well, actually somewhere between Delhi and Bangalore]

Boy #1: Eminem se zyaada smart lagta hai Enrique.
Boy #2: Bon Jovi dekha hai? Akon bhi sahi hai, kaala hai bas.

- Two 17 year old kids on Sampark Kranti Express

Making Money from the Recession

Saw both in Bangalore. It is interesting how even the recession can be used to make money.

Why So Serious? - II

Some time back I had put up an Amul Icecream ad that hinted at the Joker perhaps only inadvertently and subliminally. Here the Amul Ads are more direct. I must admit this is one campaign that has not only lasted so long but has also managed to remain fresh all this while.

You can see all of Amul's ads here.

Her Husband is a Long Jumper

I got to know of this through someone's status message on gtalk. I was immediately reminded of something I had written about some time back. Again, there are so many things that are disturbing. Here, we have minor girls marrying frogs - so the brides as well as the grooms were minors. But why frogs of all creatures? What have they ever done?

Apparently, it is done to, "prevent the outbreak of mysterious diseases" and is an annual feature. So it perhaps is entirely possible that the same frogs are getting married year after year. Possibly polygam-ic pipidae. I'm sure soon India Today will come out with one of their surveys. Outlook will play me-too [or maybe the other way round] and will proudly claim that 34% of girls below 10 like frogs that are athletic. And then, Danny Boyle will make a movie about the real-India called, Slumfrog L'Affaire. [Hat tip: Aditya]

The ceremonies had all the usual elements of a traditional marriage including a sumptuous feast.

No mention again of what the frogs ate.

The frog princes were tied to long sticks decorated with garlands for the marriage ceremonies.

Well that's kind of understandable with the groom being a long-jumper and being forced into an illegal marriage.

As for the terrified frogs, they are thrown back into the temple ponds after the ceremony.

Tsk. Tsk. They weren't even given a chance to transform into princes.

Also, what is perhaps even more hilarious is the way TOI reports it.

The villagers threw themselves into the ceremonies with gusto.

I can almost imagine the frogs getting bored of the whole thing and hopping away [alongwith their sticks like tiny little stilt-walkers] and the 'relatives' throwing themselves at the frogs with "gusto".

Previous posts on TOI - [1, 2].

Breakonomics!

It has been a long time since this blog saw any activity. Who is to blame? I could blame the paucity of time in an MBA student's life. I could blame my own ennui. But it's just that... do you even care?

Anyway, enough with the yes-i-am-back-to-blogging statements for now. The whole point of this rather bleak post is - I thought of this really bad joke after reading this article by Paul Krugman.

If only love were this easy. Imagine a guy telling his friend -

"Oh! So you guys broke up huh? Don't worry dude. Just remember, in times of depression an expansionary monetary policy won't work. Don't try to give her lots of gifts and money to buy her back. Instead, try an expansionary fiscal policy, take more 'interest' in her and you will reach your true potential!"

To which a fellow MBA student replied... [Needless to mention, she happens to be a girl]

"To reap benefits, you said fiscal policy is best. Right? Then increase the autonomous investment expenditure. Splurge on her! Then only the IS curve would shift and you'll reach equilibrium."

Somehow geeky humour doesn't have the same punch when the geeks happen to be economists.

Statutory Warning: We might be wrong on the economics.

Why So Serious?

I wonder what Amul's target market is? Are they trying to appeal to the latent Joker-esque tendencies in all of us? Heh.

I Never Liked Garfield

Before I begin, a few confessions need to be made.

1. I don't hate Mondays. I just hate waking up in the morning. Period.
2. I don't hate cats. I have had quite a few cats, and I've liked all of them.
3. I love comics.

Yet, I have always hated Garfield. Not the cat or the over-exposed brand that Garfield became but the strip itself. Simply put, I never found it funny. Storylines were pretty much the same, the characters never did anything new. Odie kept getting kicked, Garfield was lazy, Jon was socially inept and the same things happened again and again. I could pick up any two comic strips years apart and the panels could actually be saying the same thing.
Which is why, when I found out about Garfield minus Garfield, I was intrigued. Essentially, it is the same comic strip but all other characters except Jon are removed [photoshopped, maybe] from the panels. Such a sweet innovation and it changes the whole strip all together. It transforms from being a dreary, boring, non-happening comic strip to a dark, disturbing, weird, funny piece. You start thinking about Jon and his life. How empty and dreary his life actually is. Poor guy, keeps getting dumped or strikes out.

He talks to himself. Wonders out loud. Ponders about life in general. Has surreal experiences. Is completely disconnected socially. Yet, Jon manages to smile at times.

Some are profound.While some may not seem as funny at first, but when you take a second look at it, and you can't help but smile.

I wonder, what if Jim Davis or other cartoonists knowingly started doing this. Take all but one character out of the strip and it takes a whole new meaning. Imagine the possibilities, the layers of depth that can be hidden in something as harmless as a comic strip. I also wonder, if now I compare two Garfield minus Garfield strips from years apart, would it seem the same?

Sorry for not posting regularly. Don't expect things to change either. I'll try though.

The Devil Wears... Suits

I'm joining IIM Indore.

Somewhere between Desire and Engineering lies Stupidity

My Strategy for the CAT

CAT is officially my favorite entrance exam now. Not that I'm an entrance exam veteran or anything but, I have had my share of exams. It all started with the IIT-JEE, CEE and AIEEE. I got an IIT rank of 1983 which might have been good for many but personally, I just couldn't spend four years of my life doing something I didn't want to, just to be in an IIT. That was what I thought then. I had a slightly more respectable rank of 197 in CEE and ended up with Electronics at NSIT. A decision that I still regret a bit since I always wanted to do Computers but after much discussion and dilly-dallying I decided on Electronics. And thus, I ended up doing something I didn't like too much for four years, anyway.

Where was I now? Yes, CAT. The first thing that's so amazing about the CAT has got to be the name. It lends itself so easily to so many puns. Some might complain that it's really irritating and resort to catcalls, but not me. I say, bring on the - media favorite Bell the CAT, and the IMS (or Career Launcher) sponsored quizzes with rounds such as CATechism, CATharsis and CATastrophe (I'm not kidding here). On the other hand, JEE sounds too sarkari and AIEEE sounds more like Tarzan fell off a cliff.

On a more serious note, I like the CAT because no matter what the coaching institutes would have you believe, it is not necessary to spend months and years preparing for it. You can just walk in without too much preparation and still manage to give a decent attempt. Perhaps you won't crack the exam, but that's not what I'm trying to get across here. I mean unlike the JEE or any of the other Engineering entrances the CAT doesn't really test you on complex concepts of Rotational Mechanics or require you to mug up boring reactions of Inorganic Chemistry. Instead it tests you on English, Logic and Quantitative Ability. Of these, with the probable exception of Quantitative Ability I don't think the rest are areas that can be improved upon by learning up concepts or formulae.

Why am I giving all this gyaan? Frankly, lots of people have been asking for it. Therefore, here I am setting the record straight.

How did I prepare for the CAT?
I didn't. I did not join any of the money-guzzling coaching Institutes. I took a grand total of two sample tests. At home. The first one took me three days to complete. [Those serious about the CAT should be looking at a time frame of about 150 minutes.] The second sample test I got bored with [because I couldn't solve about 4-5 questions in a row] and slept. I woke up next morning and went to the examination center.

What was my strategy during the exam?
I had none. I started with the Verbal section. Now, I had given the GRE and TOEFL about a month back and in those exams the next question doesn't come up until one answers the current one, so even though I knew it wasn't a compulsion but if I spent time reading a question I ended up marking an answer. I attempted quite a few.
60 minutes gone. 90 minutes left for DI and Quant. I moved onto DI which took about 55-60 minutes. I attempted quite a few here too.
30 minutes to go. 25 Quant questions to do. Quant was a little tough I felt. Tougher than the one sample test I had attempted (properly). I started picking and choosing questions. Used my bag of tricks and shortcuts. Used the elimination of options technique in atleast 3-4 questions.
5 minutes to go and 12 questions unread. I started panicking. Scanned the paper to look for the easy ones. Picked up a couple of good ones. I asked the invigilator how much time was left. One minute. I took one final look at at my OMR sheet and the squiggly circles. The Verbal Ability and Data Interpretation sections were all filled in but the Quant section looked really empty. Too many blank spaces. Asymmetry irritates me, so as the invigilator picked up the answer sheet of the girl in front of me, (in case you are reading this, I thought you were kinda cute) I sweared, and quickly marked three randomly chosen questions without even reading them, with the same option.

How did I perform?
I got an overall percentile of 99.58 and calls from four of the IIMs – Ahmedabad, Calcutta, Indore and Kozhikode. Not bad I think, for someone who walked in without (much) preparation. Of course, it's not something I would recommend to people who are serious about an MBA but one must applaud an exam that’s structured in such a way that tests you and not your ability to cheat from memory.

Final words of advice
Don't join any coaching institute. They'll just take your money, and keep it. They won't really do much value addition. Read up on books, actually you should be doing this anyway. Those of you who start reading as part of their MBA preparation clearly have the wrong idea. Though, from what people tell me joining a test series may not be such a bad idea. It will give you good practice, shall help you remember formulae for the quantitative ability section, familiarize you with the pattern, and help you manage your time better. But I don't think you'll benefit much in Data Interpretation and Logical Reasoning as mostly no difficult formulae are involved and every question is a fresh one.

Future?
I'm not very keen on doing an MBA and I don't know how seriously I'm gonna give the interviews.

Just in case you were wondering, of my randomly chosen questions I got one right and two wrong. So, that's a net profit of 2 marks. I don't know how much difference that made but if you are an MBA-aspirant you might want to work on your luck too.

His Wife is a Real Bitch!

I read this piece of news yesterday.

A man has married a dog to atone for his 'sin' of killing two dogs 15 years ago.

At first it only sounds mildly amusing but if you think about it, it's just disturbing on so many levels. Doesn't anyone else see anything wrong with this? I mean, in India, where marriages between two humans is considered illegal. If they happen to be of the same sex, that is. By the way the last to last line is a perfect example of some really bad punctuation. Heh.
But getting back to the story. Is the fact that it's a bitch that the dude got married to, enough? Sure, it's not a gay marriage but what about the bitch's age? Since, it's a stray bitch and in all likelihood without any proof of age, can the dude in question get away with marrying a minor? Should he be allowed to? Especially since no one actually got express approval from the bitch if she really wants to marry a human. Minors can be easily misled after all.
How come no Animal Rights agencies protested against this?

Apparently, the marriage is to atone for sins he had committed some 15 years ago. When the groom in question (P Selvakumar) was a red-blooded 18 year old, he saw two dogs mating. And proceeded to kill them and hang them from a tree. So, we have history of violence too here.
Also, how a marriage to some random bitch (I'm loving this!) can atone for murdering a couple in-coitus in a sadistic, sick manner is beyond me. What if criminals started doing this? It's like saying, "Hmmm... Yes, your honour, I did do that double murder but see, since then I got married... um... you see... to this girl I rounded up at the traffic light, the other day. So, let's call it even."

One last bit of injustice.

While the bridegroom and his relatives had a sumptuous meal the bridal dog was given a bun.

Seriously, where are the Animal Rights people?

Things I Hate addendum: People who marry dogs.

Things I Hate

This list is somewhat on the lines of I am like this only. Only that was about stuff I liked.

The word 'moi' when 'me' would do just as well.
The ':P' smiley.
Outdated Posters for events done with long ago but still pasted on walls.
Half-torn posters.
The 'Just Married' cars with flowers stuck on them with cellotape… especially if it happens to be a White Maruti Esteem.
Real Estate commercials on Radio.
Guys with John Abraham hair… including John Abraham himself.
People talking to dogs.
Getting fish bones stuck in my throat.
Cliched vandalism. You know, the blackened teeth and penciled-on moustaches kinds.
Anything to do with the 18th century. All other centuries are fine, except the 18th. I just can't stand it.

Johnny Gaddar

Ever since the trailer of Johnny Gaddar was released on Passion For Cinema I have been wanting to see it and once I did, I wasn't disappointed at all. Right from the opening credits sequence, to the music and the in-film references Johnny Gaddar is one big Tarantino-esque tribute to the movies of the 70s, to Dev Anand, to Amitabh Bachchan, and to the novels of James Hadley Chase.
The last movie I remember which had touches of James Hadley Chase was Aar Ya Paar, based on The Sucker Punch. By the way, those of you who haven't seen Aar Ya Paar try to get hold of a copy and watch it. You might have written it off as a almost-B-grade flick but it's a really brilliant movie. Anyway, getting back to Johnny Gaddar. It is not a who-dun-it thriller and unlike Kaante, we know the identity of the Gaddar right from the start.
Even though I thoroughly enjoyed the movie I must say there is a mildly irritating problem that I face while watching a movie which, I know is littered with subtle references. Namely, missing out on even one of those subtle references irks me. I hate it if I can't identify all of them, even if it's just a little tune playing in the background or Rimi Sen reading RK Narayan's The Guide a book that became a movie directed by Vijay Anand. Then there are the not-so-subtle references with a major plot device being the lead character getting the idea of cheating his fellow 'businessmen' from Amitabh Bachchan's Parwaana. Not to forget the Hitchcockian MacGuffin - the 'French furniture' that was to be bought for 2.5 crores.
The music of the film is absolutely perfect and gels really well with the tone of the film. The Johnny Gaddar Title Track with its catchy main hook is pretty hummable, although the lyrics are a little weird - "Choti si zindagi, gehri si jeb hai; Baaki to jaaneman baaton ke seb hain."
Doob Ja Mere Pyaar Mein/Move Your Body sung in a nasal KL Saigal/Kya Aap Close-Up Karte Hain style is another track that really stands out. The rest of the tracks are just bit-pieces that pop up in the bar sequences but thankfully are too short to break the flow of the narrative.
The acting by the supporting cast is top-notch especially Govind Namdeo (Inspector Kalyan). Neil Nitin Mukesh is satisfactory but there is so much more that he could have done with this role. Of course, the main hero of the movie is the taut script, and the dialogues.

Akram, Jis par upar wale ka haath ho usko unglee nahin karte.

And the absolutely amazing -

It's not the age, it's the mileage.